Aliyen's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Sheik's a woman?]

Horrible and unoriginal, in more ways than one.

Sheik reveals that she is actually Zelda, then Link pokes her tits and Zelda hits him. That's the "gag." Reminds me of one of those stupid comics from Psyguy, where some male character stares at or touches a female character's tits and she slaps him or whatever. Haha, hilarious. I also just LOVE how after Zelda hits Link, it was as if he hit the INSIDE of my COMPUTER MONITOR rather than falling to the GROUND! Wow, Rachel, haven't seen THAT before!

I usually don't mind short cartoons if the punchline is actually FUNNY. (Like in the "Lobster the Lobster" cartoons.) Not only is this not funny, but it's unoriginal, just like with over 3/4 of the shit in the portal. I hate video game parodies in general, but at least some of them can have one or two good jokes. This has NOTHING funny about it, though. Not like the horror of this shit ends here, because just like with every video game parody that the stupid users on Newgrounds see, they go on and give this one good reviews as well!

I usually don't even say this for submissions that I hate, but I'm surprised this wasn't blammed. How it got into the Daily Top 5 is another fucking puzzle all by itself. Just goes to show how low the standards are for the Newgrounds users.

[Pope for a Day]

Boring and stupid.

I like sacrilegiousness, but this was very poorly done. Really just short and to the point, and not in a way where it would work. No good jokes at all. No good ANYTHING, for that matter. You said in your author comments that you have been working on this cartoon for months, so I would at least expect some good writing to come out of those months.

Also, the style is very unoriginal. I may have liked the cartoon more if it wasn't so much like the style you see in anime cartoons, which I hate.

Try making the writing better next time.

[Lobster The Lobster Final]

I am sad to see the series go.

I loved "Lobster the Lobster" so much. It was a very funny series and I couldn't get enough of it, and now that it's gone, it just reminds me of how I'll just be stuck with the other stupid video game parody shit on Newgrounds.

Anyway, thanks for blessing us with this great series. I expected a bit more from the finale, but if there's anything that I've learned from "Lobster the Lobster," it's that you can never hope for something huge, because the whole point is to crush those hopes so you can see something short instead!

Also, Season 1 was better overall, but Season 2 had my favorite three episodes thanks to Bruce Banner! He was a hilarious addition to the series and I couldn't stop laughing at those three episodes he was in. (I won't count the one where everything was just a "paradox" of one same episode)

Anyway, thank you for the fun, and I look forward to your other stuff!

[The Child That Smelt Odd]

Nice shit.

Nothing that really made me laugh, but I don't think any of your stuff ever did. Definitely had the style of your other cartoons, especially by the end when the boy was staring and talking about the empty refrigerator. Hard to believe that this is your longest, because I could have sworn that "Salad Fingers 2" was longer than this!

Anyway, nice running joke about banning everything. Became a bit overused, though, but you had the right timing on the most part. The whole cartoon in general isn't something I'd replay over and over like with a lot of your other cartoons, but you did a nice job anyway. Hope to see more from you.

["target practice" W.W.W]

Lame.

I like how you inserted another character to interact with the original character in "Target Practice." It must have especially taken effort to take all of those characters from that cartoon and give them all those new poses for this animation. I expected much more, though. this was pretty lame.

I probably would've liked it more if you didn't rip off that one segment from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." (Which has been ripped off beyond belief by this point.) The ending where he was about to go to heaven but went to hell is overplayed, too. Especially when he was "tortured" by the end. (Wasn't a similar joke already in "Movie Comics"? Oh well, hasn't been funny for a long time now.)

Just come up with some fresher material, really. This is a good try, but it feels like I watched it years ago.

I'm tired of all these Jeff Weise cracks in general, too. It sucks for him and those other 8 people he killed, but just let the whole thing die already. There's nothing new to be uncovered from it, we get the point.

[My GOD, Robots! episode 3]

Shit.

The only positive thing I can tell you is that you're a very good animator (even though you over-animate at many instances), especially for someone who's just starting out. However, this series isn't original. I can see that you're a Futurama fan, but is it really that necessary to make it so similar to that show? Even the main character wears similar clothes to Fry, for fuck's sake. The big difference is that Futurama is a great show, and while obviously borrows a few things from other sci-fi shows, it still feels very original. "My GOD, Robots!" just feels like the same shit over and over again.

Also, this show isn't funny. I'm obviously not one of those who fits into the target audience of the show, but even a retarded infant can note that the "humor" is more or less the same shit as some really bad show on Cartoon Network. It can't get more overplayed than a character pissing and moaning about no more beverage left in a container.

Also, way to put the "KeenTOONS" logo in your cartoon. Last time I checked, you're not on that website, and possibly never will be. I suggest you remove it.

Anyway, you're obviously catching Tom's (or Wade's?) attention, so keep up what you're doing anyway. But that won't make your cartoon any funnier or more original.

[Rise of the MK: Part 4]

Amazing.

Randy, you have outdone yourself. The visuals were amazing, the choice of music was brilliant, the story was done in a way that Nintendo could have never done it...All this makes me wonder why you're not working at Nintendo to begin with! Very nice job.

[Valentine's Day Special]

Yet another jolly nice film from Mr. Firth.

Just like Milkman, this was very surprising. Although this time, I like how you gave little time for the viewer to think about what the punchline may be, giving a bigger shock to the audience.

Personally, I think Valentine's Day is the most pointless holiday ever. But seeing you vandalize it with your movie makes all the bullshit of this holiday somewhat worthwile.

[The Talking Silence, Ep.2]

Alright. Could've been better.

The little "poems," as I like to call them, are very amusing. I like the whole loneliness of this character, who just sits there in an empty shelter, thinking about silence and other disturbing thoughts that enter his head. Only suggestion I have is to let the text stay there a bit longer; even longer than it needs to stay. This way it might give it a more creepy feeling, rather than just staying there for a few seconds. Maybe making it fade out would be pretty good.

I also like how these are short and straight to the point. Keep it up. I see a great future for this series.

[The Talking Silence, Ep.1]

I liked it.

Dark and poetic. Reminds me a lot of David Firth's movies. Whether it needs voice acting or not is up in debate, but if you continue this series, I won't mind if you don't.